I came out at 16, and around that time an older cousin brought me along on a night out that opened my eyes to a world I had never seen up close before.
I remember walking in and feeling completely out of place. There was a drag show going on, the room was loud, people were laughing, and everything felt bigger, bolder, and more dramatic than anything I had imagined. I stood there taking it all in, not really knowing what to think.
What struck me most was how quickly I started making assumptions. The vision that has stuck in my head was the drag queen was comical, but was waving a sex toy (you can imagine) in her hand. I was young, inexperienced, and trying to understand where I fit. For a moment, I thought maybe this was what all gay life looked like. Maybe this was what it meant. Later, I learned that was not true at all.
What I had seen was only one scene, one kind of energy, one small part of a much bigger world. Over time I came to understand that gay life, like any other kind of life, holds all kinds of people and all kinds of stories.
Looking back, I can smile at how shocked I was. But I can also be gentle with that younger version of me. He was just trying to make sense of what he was seeing, and of himself too.
That was my first glimpse. Not of everything, just of one small corner. But it stayed with me.
